


Fight Me

by Yarpfish



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: FAHC, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Nurse! Ryan, Peanut allergy, Questionable medical situations, RageHappy, Ray doesn't know how to flirt, Raywood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 02:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12621120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yarpfish/pseuds/Yarpfish
Summary: “This is stupid,” Ray rasped as he was fussed into a bed and hooked into monitors and IVs and who knew what else, but were ‘vitally important’ and ‘please stop pulling them out sir’.“Stupid is not mentioning your tongue swelling to three times the size after eating a peanut M&M. Stupid is eating the rest of the bag,” the nurse scolded as he checked the IV stand, “Staying overnight for observation after you almost died? Super smart”, he grinned at Ray with the bright smile of a camp counsellor.He had a very nice smile.“Fight me,” Ray huffed and crossed his arms, looking anywhere but the handsome face in front of him.Turned out he had a very nice laugh too.





	Fight Me

So, turns out that Ray Narvaez Jr, sniper for The Fake AH, FBI’s fourth most wanted, had managed to exist for 25 years, in the land of the PB&J, without ever having eaten a peanut.

 

And, because nothing could ever be simple with The Fake, turns out he was deathly allergic.

Geoff, being Geoff, had panicked and been no use to anyone. Jack, being Jack, had taken over and bundled Ray into the passenger seat of her Adder and driven to ER, promptly followed by the others.

 It was the first time in the history of the city that someone had ever been admitted to Los Santos General escorted by a fleet of supercars.

 ~

 “This is stupid,” Ray rasped as he was fussed into a bed and hooked into monitors and IVs and who knew what else, but were ‘vitally important’ and ‘please stop pulling them out sir’.

 “Stupid is not mentioning your tongue swelling to three times the size after eating a peanut M&M. Stupid is _eating the rest of the bag,_ ” the nurse scolded as he checked the IV stand, “Staying overnight for observation after you almost died? Super smart”, he grinned at Ray with the bright smile of a camp counsellor.

 He had a very nice smile. 

“Fight me,” Ray huffed and crossed his arms, looking anywhere but the handsome face in front of him.

 

Turned out he had a very nice laugh too.

 ~

 The second time, Gavin had taken a shine to the man keeping Ray prisoner.

 “Hey fuck off Gavin. Find your own hot nurse to flirt with,” Ray slurred around his medication.

 The nurse froze and turned bright red. He laughed awkwardly as Gavin flashed an apologetic smile and a half-sincere shrug.

 “The redhead on the front desk has a thing for accents though?” he offered by way of consolation.

Gavin’s pout transformed into a massive grin, “thanks Ryan!” he said as he pulled him into a hug and grabbing his ass.

 “The laws of dibs are unbreakable!” Ray protested, leading Gavin to wink and stick out his tongue before leaving the room.

 The nurse, Ryan it turned out, was looking at him with almost patronising amusement.

 “What are you looking at nerd” Ray rasped.

 “The law of dibs?”

 “Whatever, fucking fight me.”

 ~

 The third time Ray is rushed in, it’s after a heist.

 “So let me get this straight,” nurse Haywood said, hands on his hips, “you were out celebrating.”

 “Yep”

 “Celebrating something that also gave you severe road rash and a black eye and left you smelling of gunpowder”

 “Parkour injuries” Ray said solemnly.

 “Sure,” the nurse said witheringly, “and the fact that the Maize Bank is currently on fire is a complete coincidence?”

 “Serendipity bro”

 “So you’re celebrating as the result of an evening of actions that can be explained in a court of law. You go to a Chinese and order **_chicken satay_ ** **.”**

 “So when you say it like that you make it sound bad.”

“Oh, does it now? I’m glad.”

 “Ah, fight me nerd.”

 ~

 “I’m going to duct tape an epipen to your hand and tattoo ‘ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS’ on your forehead”, nurse Haywood said as greeting the fourth time.

 “Ryan why,” Ray said as Geoff dissolved into laughter.

 ~

 “There are easier ways of getting my attention.” Ryan said not even looking up from his clipboard.

 “I have no idea what you’re on about.”

“Sure.”

 “Why would I want your attention, I’m way out of your league and you’re mean to me.”

 Ryan rolled his eyes, “Can I believe you’re dumb enough to accidentally eat peanuts five times in a two month period? I’m starting to think so,” Ray opened his mouth to protest but Ryan held up a finger to stop him, “Can I believe that you managed to accidentally do it _only_ when I’m on shift? Please.”

 “You don’t know my life” Ray said, his usual deadpan delivery marred by what could only be described as a sulk.

 ~

 The sixth time, Ryan was distinctly _not_ on shift.

 “He’s not here,” said the redheaded nurse with the fondness for accents, when Ray tried to subtly ask about it with the finesse of a sledgehammer.

 Her bedside manner left a lot to be desired, he thought, as she moved him around like a puppet and stabbed him with the IV with more force than Ray personally thought was justified.

 Nurse Turney finished her work on his monitors and gave a satisfied nod, “alright, I’ll be back in an hour to see how you’re doing,” before picking up her clipboard and pen, off to harass more idiots who’d eaten things they shouldn’t have.

 The night of observation ahead seemed impossibly long and dull, and Ray was surprised by how disappointed he felt about it, and how embarrassed he was by his own reaction.

 The door had barely closed more than a minute before nurse Turney stuck her head back in.

 “Oh, Ryan asked me to tell you - if you wanna fight, he’ll be at Il Fornaio tomorrow at seven.”

 ~

 

When she was gone, Ray stuffed one of his pillows over his face to hide his big dumb grin.

 


End file.
